Posted 1 year ago

Spinsters, I think it’s time we see other people.

It’s not you, it’s me. I think I’ve just reached that point in my life where I need to see other people…like in real life…you know…instead of through the magical world of tumblr. It’s scary, but it’s time.

(Please read the following while listening to either Michelle Branch’s “Goodbye to you”, Green Day’s “Good Riddance” or Bob Dylan’s “Don’t think twice” for the proper emotional tone)

Dear followers,

Here’s the deal, I want to be real with you. Almost two and a half years ago I suffered an incredibly painful heartbreak and after months of laying around on the floor bawling my eyes out, I decided to use my greatest defense mechanism: Humor.

Maybe it’s because I’m a history major and we just take stories and over analyze them to death looking for a common theme to attempt to write something profound about, but 2011 was an ugly year for relationships in my circle of friends. I started this blog to help others and myself see the lighter side of these painful experiences. My hope is that I was able to at least connect with some reader out there and brighten their day, I know that I enjoyed reading your stories and felt less alone because of it.

The truth is, after 2 years of this, I’m getting bored. Bored with myself.

  • I prefer the internet to real life
  • I like to eat
  • I’m always in the ‘friend zone’ and by that I mean that I’m in my pjs watching hours of Friends reruns because boys do not talk to me.
  • I’m often confused for a lesbian
  • Liz Lemon and Mindy Kaling are my role models and I want to be famous just like them

There, I just summed up over 1,000 posts in 5 bullet points. Anyway, this past weekend I was up at my cabin…with my parents and dogs, naturally…and I realized that if I had stayed together with the boy that had originally smashed my heart and led me to believe I was going to be a cat lady it would have been our anniversary. And maybe it was the Beyonce in my headphones or the Paul Walker poster above my bed, but I realized…who cares? Since I’ve been this so called “Spinster” I’ve made way more friends and got closer to all the friends I had than if I had stayed with him. I have been to five different countries, taken spontaneous vacations with my girl friends that turned into the most fun I’ve ever had, I’ve lost weight, I’ve totally transformed my life for the better.

Sure, it gets a little lonely and I will probably still throw myself a 5 minute pity party for one every time I see another person I went to high school with post their engagement photos online, but honestly I feel free. Free in the best sense. I’m able to do what I want, or at least I’m free enough to take the time to figure out what it is that I want.

I am grateful that this silly little tumblr was able to help me realize this, and even more grateful that I got to connect with some really awesome people out there. I even met my internet soul mate who coincidentally messaged me to let me know she suddenly had this realization too and we hope that you will someday see this too. And I PROMISE, we didn’t go and find boyfriends and now are abandoning you. Hah, the thought of that just makes me laugh.

Anyway, I just wanted to say a little goodbye to my internet friends. Thank you all so much for making me feel connected to you strangers. I wish you all the very best of luck.

Cheers and Meow.

Posted 1 year ago

When my friends found OK Cupid in my internet history

they’re just like…

Posted 1 year ago
Wait wait who's the other dog???
living-majestic asked

George is the little brown pointy eared one. The fat one with the eye brows is Brodie, my sister’s dog, but I stole him for the weekend. :)

Posted 1 year ago

My sister and I share a room at the cabin and she had tons of pictures up of her husband so I put up some of mine

Posted 1 year ago

spent the weekend at the cabin with my boyfriends.

Posted 1 year ago

these are my disgusting friends.

Posted 1 year ago

Memorable Meals

soooo….I had the day off, and I should have done something outside or attempted to meet people…instead I started another tumblr. “memorable meals.” if you love food as much as I do, you might like this.

Posted 1 year ago


So most girls go to a costume party dressed as sluts, but this is how we do it.

Mrs. Doubtfire, Chinese Foxy Cleopatra, Rambo, Tsu Chen

Posted 1 year ago
You are my favourite. You're kind of my online mentor.
your-life-your-call asked

well aren’t you just the nicest person online! 

Posted 1 year ago

When no one reblogs my posts

Posted 1 year ago

Roaring Twenties

“And ditching teenage fantasy means ditching all your dreams”

Oh boy, so I set out to write these personal essays in hopes that one day they will be published together in a book that would hopefully be a top seller at your local Urban Outfitters. The original goal was to write about three new essays a week, and develop a following and I don’t know, become famous? Well, I wrote two short essays, gained about three followers and then neglected the whole thing for a month. Sounds about right.

Here’s the deal, since I wrote a month ago, I have officially graduated college. Have you all seen the movie “The Graduate?” I feel like my life is a little too much like Dustin Hoffman’s in the film. Well, okay so I’m not rich, or having an affair one of my parent’s friends, and I didn’t graduate top of my class from an Ivy league school…hmm maybe I’m not so much like him after all, BUT I can relate in that I have no idea what I want to do now other than to lay around on a floaty in the pool all day every day.

I’m 23 years old and just finished college. Therefore, you can see I am already a year behind schedule. Society, peer pressure, and media give people in my current situation this mixed message…”you are young, go out and make mistakes, live your life, travel, this is the time in your life to do it all” and “immediately get a high paying office job that comes with benefits, if you do not do this right now, you are a failure.” Add to this mixed message the constant dark cloud of the economic crisis that struck the minute I graduated high school and has progressed into a on going terror to this day, projections foresee it only getting worse and there you have the perfect formula to a generation of over educated, under qualified, anxiety filled, young adults.

What do I do? That’s the question on all of our minds right? While I sit around pondering my place in the world, I scroll through Facebook and Instagram and see all these people my age getting married, having kids (intentionally), starting high paying careers and I’m posting pictures of my new band shirts and my slice of Pizza that looks “totally dank.” What exactly is the cut off date of when it’s cool to wear band t-shirts every day with jean shorts and converse, to when wearing that makes it look like you are an adult trying way too hard to be a teen? Can I still shop at Forever 21?

I am constantly talking to my best friends asking them for advice but it seems we are all in different stages of this confusing mess. Some of my friends did graduate from great schools, and got the high paying job right away…guess what, they hate it. Some of them graduated and have applied to literally hundreds of jobs and turns out you need a minimum of 10 years of unpaid experience to even serve coffee. Some are doing the travel to foreign countries, fall in love with strangers, and basically be that person we all secretly really want to be, and at the same time are judging for being so foolish and careless.

I try to weigh my options in a responsible way but the outcome seems to be the same, I DON’T KNOW! If I were to do the wild, carefree, live like a hipster version what would I do? Move to a different country? And do what? Be isolated and fall further behind? Drive across the country and meet new people? Hah! I’ve seen enough movies to know that’s how you get tied up in someone’s basement!

Okay, so what if I try to get a start to a career and make the next step into adulthood? What am I qualified for….well I have six years of experience of working with children. In other words, I am pretty much the worlds best dodge ball player, I know the difference between a penis drawing and a Squidward drawing, and I have a super cool nickname, “Lady Pig.” Apparently these are not marketable skills in the job market.

My part time job will end in about a month and half, I have a journal sitting next to me labeled “Crazy Ideas How To Get $$$ Part 1,” and I’m blasting Frank Turner’s “Photosynthesis,” screaming the lyrics

Oh maturity’s a wrapped up package deal so it seems

And ditching teenage fantasy means ditching all your dreams

All your friends and peers and family solemnly tell you you will

Have to grow up be an adult yeah be bored and unfulfilled

Oh when no ones yet explained to me exactly what’s so great

About slaving 50 years away on something that you hate, 

about meekly shuffling down the path of mediocrity

Well if that’s your road then take it but it’s not the road for me

And I won’t sit down

And I won’t shut up

And most of all I will not grow up.

and hoping that some miracle will fall into my lap and tell me what exactly it is that I need to do.

For those of you who have it figured out , I salute you. For the rest of us, struggling to pick a path to take, cheers my friend.

for more:

Posted 1 year ago

My sister is now married…and I am still sittin around in my underwear & cartoon t shirts.

Posted 1 year ago
  1. Best friend: Kara I can't just hang out with you all day watching stupid movies, I have to search for a real job. It's time to grow up!
  2. Me: Okay fine, what kind of job are you looking for?
  3. Best friend: Any full time marketing, high paying, with benefits and doesn't do drug testing.
  4. Me: Ha! Growing up is hard.
Posted 1 year ago
Do you actually have a basement full of snakes?
teamdyingalone asked

Haha, no I actually hate snakes but I’m just thinking in advance. I’ll most likely be a dog lady…but each year I lose my mind a little more so I’m not ruling snake basement out.

Posted 1 year ago

My Friday night plans

What i tell people….

What I’m actually doing…